TAXI
– INDECENT EXPOSURES
The
uncensored account of what goes on between taxi drivers and their passengers.
WARNING:
THIS BOOK'S CONTENTS MAY OFFEND SOME PEOPLE
CONTENTS
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR.....................................…………….................xiii
FOREWORD..............................................................…………….......xv
INTRODUCTION
– AND THE LEGAL STUFF............………….....…........1
Acknowledgements.............................
................……………...............9
1
- THE EDUCATION PART...............................……………..................19
Where cabbies come from..............................……………....................19
An intellectual pursuit?.................................……………........................20
Bodily functions....................................................................................20
The smelliest fart in history.....................................................................22
The Noble Park......................................................................................26
'Here driver take my breast
in your hand!'..............................................28
Bush drive - Michael Streeter.................................................................30
Sprogs....................................................................................................32
Sprogs 2.................................................................................................35
Sprogs 3.................................................................................................36
Sprogs 4..................................................................................................36
Sprogs 5.................................................................................................38
Sprogs 6.................................................................................................38
No sprogs...............................................................................................39
The fish monger......................................................................................40
Smells....................................................................................................44
Smells 2.................................................................................................45
Dangerous!..............................................................................................46
My first shifts in Melbourne.....................................................................46
Round two..............................................................................................50
Jack Chamberlain...................................................................................51
Mushroom Picking - Alex
Horvath..........................................................59
Breasts - Rex Murphy.............................................................................66
Watch what you say - Graham
Mann......................................................67
Gunman - Vicki Hayes............................................................................68
Snake hunting - Brian Scott...................................................................70
Snake-hunting - The author's
story.........................................................75
They're all at it!........................................................................................78
The fortune teller and the
frostbite..........................................................80
The look..................................................................................................83
The breakdown - Jack Harrison..............................................................87
Mirrors....................................................................................................98
Mirrors 2................................................................................................104
Sprogs 7?.............................................................................................106
Gay Sprogs 8?......................................................................................106
Jewish Sprog........................................................................................107
2
- TAXI TIPS...................................………………...............................111
How we get tips.....................................................................................111
Who are the best and worst
tippers.......................................................117
3
- TOP TIPS.....................................………………..............................123
Grease and slime...................................................................................123
The miserable tip..................................................................................123
Slow motion - John Cornell...................................................................126
The carpet man....................................................................................128
The worst tip ever.................................................................................129
Tips for service.....................................................................................130
The cabcharge alcoholic.......................................................................131
The tipping Frenzy................................................................................133
Hash tip................................................................................................135
The racing tip........................................................................................137
The cabbie who shouldn't
have placed bets.........................................138
Some of the biggest tips.......................................................................139
The lazy cabbie - Terry
Livingstone......................................................142
A cruel tip - Paul Sheppherd.................................................................143
4
- ACCIDENTS AND DISASTERS...........................……….......………......151
Suicides and running over
people.........................................................152
Excuses and insurance claims.............................................................156
An accident waiting to happen..............................................................163
Crashed out..........................................................................................164
Two colours?........................................................................................170
5
- RORTS..............................................................…………….......….......173
Cabcharge and Taxi Credit
- the taxi drivers.........................…..............173
Drivers buying and selling
credit vouchers..............................................174
Cabcharge and Taxi Credit,
the passengers..........................................176
The fare subsidy schemes....................................................................181
Free rides at the governments
expense...............................................182
More than a free ride at
the governments expense...............................184
Cabbies robbing their passengers........................................................186
Avoiding rip-off cabbies.........................................................................191
Cabbies robbing their owners...............................................................192
A typical Canberra cover
up.................................................................197
6
- PROBLEM PASSENGERS - FARE EVADERS.……………..........….......205
The jump and run.................................................................................205
Cut and loose.......................................................................................209
Not as it seems.....................................................................................210
A multiple jump and run
operation........................................................211
The walk and run..................................................................................213
7
- MORE SOPHITICATED FARE EVASION............…..........…………….....217
The trends.............................................................................................217
Bodgy complaints against
taxi drivers...................................................224
8
- JUMP, RUN AND SWIM..............................……………….....................227
A different style of fare
evasion............................................................227
The lesbian who took on
too much - Jack Hargreaves.........................228
In the boot............................................................................................230
Stripped of his fare...............................................................................231
Another Strip........................................................................................233
Bolted in - Ronald Williams...................................................................233
A profitable fare evasion.......................................................................234
Serves him right - Rowan
Slavens........................................................235
The Sydney man - Adam Jacobsen......................................................237
The meaning of money - Clinton
Rado..................................................239
Suspicious taxi driver -
David Altman...................................................240
Fancy types of fare evasion
- Rob O'Neil.............................................240
River man - George Scalcione..............................................................241
More of the same.................................................................................242
A driver who was badly done
by a fare evader......................................242
Remorse? No way!...............................................................................243
Frances Downes, the fare
evader from Ireland....................................245
The pleasant truth and the
unpleasant truth.........................................248
Another win for the bad
guys…............................................................252
A bad future..........................................................................................255
9
- MORE PROBLEM PASSENGERS.........................………………..........261
Swearing spewers................................................................................261
Problems without even picking
up a fare..............................................266
Stabber.................................................................................................272
10
- VIOLENT CRIMES.................................................……………….......277
Cabbie Killers.......................................................................................281
11
- MORE CRIMES AGAINST CABBIES.......................………………......283
Bad guys getting put through
the courts...............................................283
Blondes aren't always dumb.................................................................284
Nowhere like home................................................................................285
Robbers and bashers............................................................................286
More robberies.....................................................................................290
The Perth scene (1980s)......................................................................293
One for the bad guys............................................................................304
Another hijacking..................................................................................305
God Squad to the rescue......................................................................309
The true believer...................................................................................310
Blondes aren't always more
fun............................................................312
12
- MURDERED DRIVERS.............................................………………......313
Alan Dale, (Melbourne, Victoria)...........................................................313
Ken Davis, (Sydney, New
South Wales)...............................................320
William Rogers, (Sydney,
New South Wales).......................................322
Other murders, (various
places)...........................................................323
Even more............................................................................................340
Stopping the carnage...........................................................................341
But how good are the screens?............................................................350
The statistics........................................................................................351
How good are the sprays?....................................................................352
Yet another murder?.............................................................................352
A slow death?......................................................................................353
The police.............................................................................................354
The other way.......................................................................................357
13
- UNDESIREABLE COLLEAGUES...........................………………........363
The 'brotherhood'.................................................................................363
Raymond Hoser's view of
Cabbies......................................................366
Sexually perverted taxi
drivers..............................................................368
Getting lost...........................................................................................370
Cabbie without Christmas
spirit............................................................371
Cab Kidnappers - Mark Sinclair............................................................372
Rear Vision - Angie Booth....................................................................377
Sleazy driver - Jane West....................................................................380
The unsafety committee.......................................................................381
Rules! Rules! Rules!.............................................................................384
14
- VOMITING PASSENGERS......................................……………….....387
Watch where you sit.............................................................................387
Jump and chunder...............................................................................387
Yuppies who paid.................................................................................388
Outside of a taxi...................................................................................390
In the window - Ralph Wonder..............................................................391
What's on the back seat
- Yvette Sanders............................................394
A fare I refused.....................................................................................395
May your cup never runneth
over - Glen Carey....................................395
The fare I should have refused
- Michael Robertson............................398
Passenger who got confused
- Jack Upe..............................................404
15
- SEX, TAXIS AND MORE SEX..................................……………….....405
On the fringe........................................................................................405
Date jabbers.........................................................................................412
Come inside.........................................................................................416
The date...............................................................................................421
Money or the box..................................................................................421
A roughie..............................................................................................424
16
- TAXIS, SEX AND ONE NIGHT STANDS.............…........…………......429
The walking stick..................................................................................429
The two night stand..............................................................................430
True love?...........................................................................................431
Frigid?..................................................................................................434
Spaghetti..............................................................................................435
Hazards................................................................................................436
Murder?................................................................................................438
Grog.....................................................................................................438
Nice legs, shame about the
face..........................................................440
In the family..........................................................................................442
Vertical not horizontal...........................................................................446
Sleeping with women............................................................................450
The other side......................................................................................450
A changed person................................................................................454
Boring job - Ari McBride.......................................................................455
Passengers with a vibrating
problem - Leon Reddan...........................458
Quick and the bald - Peter
Webber.......................................................460
Two stories about paying
a cab fare.....................................................462
Wrong sex - Tejay Decarlos..................................................................463
Married lies..........................................................................................468
17
- INSANE WORDS.......................................………………..................469
Bulls on the ABC taxi radio...................................................................469
Wild elephants......................................................................................469
Flying....................................................................................................470
Busting.................................................................................................470
Busting continued.................................................................................473
Busted!.................................................................................................475
Cumberland taxis radio.........................................................................476
Westies................................................................................................476
Not working - David Noonan..................................................................481
Another loud mouthed American
- Robert Weller.................................484
The safe fortune teller
- Peter Scanlon.................................................485
Arrow taxis - A typical
radio screw up...................................................488
Arrow taxis - (again).............................................................................489
18
- CABBIE'S JARGON......................................………………................491
General terms.......................................................................................491
Multiple hiring jargon............................................................................494
19
- SOME QUESTIONS.................................................……………….......497
Adult Non-fiction
ISBN 0 9586769 8 4 (pbk)
260 X 175 mm, 528 pp.
$33 (Australian or US$) + $7 postage.
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